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How tae make pastry. Its dead easy and dead cheap; if you don’t do it you are lazy and probably a shit person.
………………..
Fuckin’ Flour. Mix that with Fuckin’ Butter; Like a knob of it.
Add some salt (a decent pinch. Do not go mental unless you really want a heart attack) - with us so far?
Rub it. Rub it good. So good it goes breadcrumby. Not crumby? Add more butter. Or flour; depending on which side of not crumby it is.
THEN.
Add water: cold water, a bit at a time. UNTIL. Until it feels like pastry consistency.
AND FINALLY.
Knead the shit out of it. Then leave it for at least 15 minutes!
……..
Congrats. You just shortcrusted yourself. Now make a pie.
