So guys. After blogging last time I have done lots. I have written about it less because of the lots.

So you get some kind of crazy desperate blog, full of half remembered things, that don’t make much sense even to the trained ear. And that even leaves me confused.

This is a fitting analogy to where my Chinese is at.

FRIDAY.

Friday was a gig day. The gig was Peaches. Peaches fucked the pain away, good and proper. She did this in a crazy club called the ‘Mao Livehouse’, which was nice, big and awesome. As such the chinese are apparently going to tear it down, because anything that isn’t a high-rise CANNOT SURVIVE HERE.*

This is beside the point. Peaches was fun, I touched her bum. Her vagina flashed a strobe light (as they do) and I drank beer.

Q. What more can you ask for?

A. KARAOKE (oh and some modelling)

The day after a wonderfully elegant Friday, I was roped into doing a fashion show for a friend of a firend who needed male models.

I say roped in: perhaps more persuaded by the chance of being ‘discovered’ and the overall flattery of someone desperately needing a white guy to wear some clothes.

The modelling went over like a tonne of meh. A tonne of oddly dressed meh in the middle of a lot of super skinny Chinese models, with some guy at the side pissing himself laughing at me. But aside from him, it was all GOOD. (I even convinced someone that I was doing it professionally. HA. fool!)

After doing this, it was time for Karaoke.

It was a pals birthday so of course this involved a) drinking and b) singing. Normally not a good combination. BUT IN CHINA!?!??! Still not a great combo; aside from The Chinese themselves, who can all sing like the the fucking birds (often well, but high pitched and somewhat gratingly at the same time).

But me? My singing was much more about enthusiasm and swearing. General rules for life, really.

Perudo

After singing my tiny lungs out, we went to a club so I could practice my Chinese and my lying.

Unfortunately both are somewhat rusty, so when the order of the evening is to play Chinese Drinking Perudo (liar dice), a Josh may start to unravel quickly. Numbers are hard here, lying is hard when you can’t really say anything. Thusly a hangover ensued.

Ends.

I can now count. I have chewed a chicken foot. I have mastered the art of getting a taxi via waving only.
*Everything here is massive. If it is in anyway cool, so far as I have heard, they have plans to tear it down and make houses. BOOOooo.