A collection of things I* have done, seen, liked or cared strongly enough about to put online.
If you want to read my creative writing head to somethingididntdo.com.
You can tweet at me, or read my website about super fun games and why some rock more than others, or maybe this one about making two words one.
I like to get paid for writing, and photos too. If you like what you read, drop me an note to: joshuef [at] gmail [dot] com
* The Josh Wilson of Scotland, not the NFL guy, the baseball player nor that folksy singer chap.
Posts tagged: food
He missed food, any food, all food. He missed it like hell.
It’s not that he wasn’t used to the rationing. Three tours of duty in the middle of goddamn nowhere meant he was used to rations. Sometimes he even liked them… Sometimes those boil in the bag things were actually pretty tasty.
The smell…
mango this and mango that
ill even eat your mango catmango pickle mango river
mango slut and mango slivermangos juiced mangos savoured
mango debts are mango flavouredmango dinner mango stew
mango sweets and mango gluemango smoothie mango taste
is the last thing man should wastemango morning mango night
the mango way is always rightmango yes not mango no
a non mango man must mango go
awesome
i just learnt that marshmallows are made from pork scratchings. my world view has changed.
The MOST EXPENSIVE FIREWORKS EVER and other small things
I saw the Expo fireworks (back when they were on, not recently). Not sure I saw the same show as the rest of the world…
They weren’t high, didn’t go on that long, and were underwhelming in general. That or the Shanghai skyline is sooooo huge you can’t see the night sky anymore. It is a possibility.
Chinese jeans are a small thing(s). XL is about 4 inches too small for my fat western legs.
Good, super awesome things that clean all your clothes without you asking, tidy away the empty beer and make sure you have drinking water, these things come in small friendly packages. My cleaning lady is one of those.
Things that have gone in my belly.
Tepenyake (?) = Big table, big hot plate, big chef, big food. All you can eat, and all you can drink. Awesome tasty varied awesomeness. Sushi, beef, seafood - whatever.
I ate all I could, and some of what other people couldn’t as well. It was good. So good all I can do is say is, “Do it”. DO. IT. Please.
Chicken Foot.
As per Dr. Howie’s request I have indeed devoured a chicken foot (although I dont have any pictures, SORRY GUYS). It was like eating something that was bony, awkward and had been stomping around in shit all it’s days.
IT DIDN’T TASTE BAD. My chinese teacher showed me how to each it: You bite off the nails, spit em out, and then do that for each bone, all the while sucking off the tasty meat! That is how The Chinese sell it anyway.
I ate a whole foot (as in a singular foot, not one foot of chicken feet :/ ), it was a lot of effort.
I am still none the wiser as to why anyone would bother to eat it as opposed to KFC or something.
Fuck Sake
As well as tepanyake I accidentally went to an elaborate Japanese restaurant ‘thing’. Seven courses of stuff, one of which was some kind of seafood, so rare and crazy you only get one piece the size of a ten pence piece. It was so rare and crazy it tasted just like it had come from the sea! Can you believe it?
Also this dinner turned out to be a sake tasting affair. I got lectured on sake, and what makes it so tasty and awesome and have five kinds where they waste, like, most of the rice, or something. What it all came down to was that sake should be cold, that it is expensive but not as expensive as wine, and that it all tastes THE SAME (like something you only drink because someone else has bought it for you).
P.S.
I think I had my funniest Facebook wall ever.
To come back home and check the ole’ facehook, to see only, “HAHAHAHAHAHA”, it is an impressive sight :P
That above is what you get when you make an omelette and put chorizo next to it. Or maybe more accurately, when you get your friend Hannah to organise it.
ANYWAY. Here is how you make it:
!!Spanish Omelette!!
A few Big Tatties* are needed, a few big ‘uns. You have to chop em fine enough so they cook through (cook in a decent sized frying pan), if you don’t your tortilla will be starchy and rubbish and while your friends may still ‘say’ they like it, they will be lying.
Throw in some onions and garlic and a bit of salt and pepper after letting the tats cook through a wee bit.
Add a few eggs** which you had previously beat the crap out of with a whisk (or fork: if you are street). Allow this to cook through. COVER THE PAN. That helps.
You shouldn’t need to flip it. If you do it will probably break and your friends will disown you; this is deserved this if you flipped it.
DONE.
Eat it with something tasty on the side or add it in (chorizo is good either way; On the side it needs boiled for a 15 minutes though); either way definitely eat it.
Notes: *Tats are potatoes. ** Anything bigger than a chickens egg may well be overkill, or possibly overcool. It is hard to tell at this time.
I found the reblog button. YAS!
How tae make pastry. Its dead easy and dead cheap; if you don’t do it you are lazy and probably a shit person.
………………..
Fuckin’ Flour. Mix that with Fuckin’ Butter; Like a knob of it.
Add some salt (a decent pinch. Do not go mental unless you really want a heart attack) - with us so far?
Rub it. Rub it good. So good it goes breadcrumby. Not crumby? Add more butter. Or flour; depending on which side of not crumby it is.
THEN.
Add water: cold water, a bit at a time. UNTIL. Until it feels like pastry consistency.
AND FINALLY.
Knead the shit out of it. Then leave it for at least 15 minutes!
……..
Congrats. You just shortcrusted yourself. Now make a pie.
