A collection of things I* have done, seen, liked or cared strongly enough about to put online.
If you want to read my creative writing head to somethingididntdo.com.
You can tweet at me, or read my website about super fun games and why some rock more than others, or maybe this one about making two words one.
I like to get paid for writing, and photos too. If you like what you read, drop me an note to: joshuef [at] gmail [dot] com
Posts tagged: work
Dear Get Your Guide,
Gimme a job, yeah?
I’m a writer of things and a needer of money. I’ve been involved in start ups, done far too much SEO on things I don’t care about (like writing about safety equipment, that pays me money right now), and I think it might be time to use my skills for good (and something that doesn’t bore me to death).
I love travelling. I’ve been all over the shop and need to go to all the bits of the shop I haven’t been to yet too.
I’ve experience writing, editing, subediting, commissioning, setting up style guides and meeting horrific deadlines. Laying out pages, using CMSs, building CMSs, finding keywords and all of that jazz.
I’ve helped TheSkinny.co.uk (print mag and website) get started, started www.Square-Go.com myself (used to be a print mag, but now is a bastion of quality brief games journalism in the UK).
I want to work for you because you are a start up and I can maybe get some input and can help make it better? I want to write for you so I can write about travelling and who knows maybe someone needs to try one of these holidays every now and again? (I think they do).
Also I need to get better at kicker, since arriving in Berlin a few weeks ago I’ve discovered just how alarmingly inept we are at it in the UK, and I used to have a table in my flat…
I would very much like a job. Although I am less inclined by the internship, especially with its four month minimum before you might get paid real money.
I am an experienced and a solid writer, and I would love to help make the site more successful and also not have to not write about safety equipment. So if you can find it in your hearts (and wallets) to hire me and pay me slightly more than the internship (or lower the minimum internship time). Or maybe let me have a four day week? Then I would be more than happy to offer my services and eventually beat you all at table football.
As for why not work somewhere else? I do. And I want to write about things I want to write about. Not safety equipment.
Also your office is really near Mein Haus Am See. Which is awesome.
As for short memorable piece about travelling:
…
KRAKOW.
In Krakow they drink vodka with every meal (at least I did).
In town there are such amazing things as a bar called ‘wodka’ (can you guess what that is Polish for?). A club called ‘Kitsch’, where people actually ask you to get off the Poles for not dancing sexily enough. And loads of tasty foodstuffs on giant bread.
Krakow is beautiful and a great place to be hungover. It has a lovely square and I am told there are great sites to see. There is even a small hill dedicated to a celebrated princess: She killed herself so as not to marry a German; the people of Krakow say she was a good Pole.
…
And that piece you wanted improving:
King Ludwig loved his castles, so much so he built two and hid them in the incredibly scenic, unbelievably enchanting mountains. ‘These’, he said, ‘will be awesome’. And he was not wrong; just look at the pictures!
If you want to experience these breathtaking medieval castles and see the mountains you can. All you have to do is get on our luxury coach, enjoy the lush transport with equally lush people and you get to visit both, and even go for a wee shopping trip too!
What more could you want? Oh utter convenience of departure point. FINE. Have it: the bus leaves right from the centre of Munich. Now are you happy? Oh, you are. Well good. Us too!
…
So there you have it. I hope you enjoyed this job application, because if you did then I actually would like a job there.
Regards,
Josh
Dearest Safety Vendor!
I would very much like to write for your site, I like the job description, the flexibility of it, and the way you asked for everything twice.
I can do this, and probably quite well. I am a native Scotsman, but I think I can bend my language to suit your Americanisms (lord knows, writing in a Scottish accent would be useless for you)….
On top of this, while I don’t know an incredible amount about safety gear at the moment, I hate getting hurt; so I feel this could be a great opportunity for myself to learn about avoiding future injuries….
I am flexible (I am currently travelling around France, looking for a way to pay for all the baguettes) and plan to continue doing so for a while. So I think I could definitely be a long term candidate for all your safety descriptive needs….
Also, writing four a week would not be a problem, I daresay that ten most weeks is not a problem (twice even!)
Kind Regards and stay safe,
Okay, so in the last two days two people asked me to update them; and they both reckoned I should blog it. So this is me doing what those two people asked for. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY…
i) After a lovely super-chilled time in Dorset, baby sitting a dog and playing superleage FoileeBall (tm). I wandered to the airport and decided it would be best to spend the next 24 hours in or around the air, eating, drinking, and mostly not sleeping.
During this time I saw (500)daysofSummer. Which was good. Fantastic Mr. Fox, which is less good on a second viewing, and a lot of pretty dire american sitcoms. Arrested Development was on there too. That is all I did for 24 hours. It was fun.
ii) At the end of 24 hours, after being in and around the air for an inordinate amount of time, and eating too many, ‘things’ I arrived in CHINA.
At the airport - which had normal toilets, not the horrible drop-howdoyouusethese-toilets they had in Dubai, which meant I didn’t actually use them - they saw fit to open an entire passport control, pretty much just for me so I breezed through AND DIDNT EVEN GET ARRESTED. not one bit.
Bianca - my contact in these parts - promptly found me in a massive group of people and put me on a superfloatyMagnoTrain (tm), which went at 450km/hr and took me to Shanghai proper. Afterwards she informed me that while these trains were sci-fi and cool. They were also German engineered; so well so that they aren’t allowed to use them in Germany, due to the accidents. GOOD GOOD.
iii) So, in general since then I have worked some, eaten a lot of food - it is cheap here, you get loads and it’s very tasty YAS!
Work so far is good. There is plentiful food there, good people and interesting stuff to do.
When not working I have been a) eating b) getting drunk in one of a million bars c) in a taxi or d) having a crazy hair cut.
Everything here is crazy in the best kind of way; not least due to my linguistic ignorance. Getting a haircut was an experience:
a load of girls. a wash, a dry, a massage, a more massage, an ear clean, a more massage, a confused guy, some hair chopping. Strange looks, a desperate ‘a bit shorter please’ game of charades and another wash and dry later and i was done. All for the grand sum of THREE POUNDS…
my hands hurt from the chopsticking.
china loves werges. they are everywhere. I will do more as soon as I fix the site.
clubs are open late but are fairly expensive. thusly i have spent a lot. We played foosball at a club at late a clock and got beaten by these mental chinese people who kept saying it was a goal even when the ball didn’t go in the net. JOSH IS NOT A FAN OF CHINESE RULES FOOSBALL.
THAT IS AN UPDATE. i hope you enjoyed it.
miss your face(s)*
