A collection of things I* have done, seen, liked or cared strongly enough about to put online.
If you want to read my creative writing head to somethingididntdo.com.
You can tweet at me, or read my website about super fun games and why some rock more than others, or maybe this one about making two words one.
I like to get paid for writing, and photos too. If you like what you read, drop me an note to: joshuef [at] gmail [dot] com
* The Josh Wilson of Scotland, not the NFL guy, the baseball player nor that folksy singer chap.
Posts tagged: writing,
The radioactive zombie, brain lusting corpse of television has been laid bare in front of us.
The Land of the Lost Volcano is nature documentary making given a lifeless, unstoppable, nature-humping science-over.
We are on the brink of disaster. We know this. Climate change bla bla. We have been told! What we need is enthusing about nature; we need reminding of all the awesomeness around the world.
A team of scientists going into a never before explored volcano and having a goosey gander for some creatures should be interesting. Hell they even ‘found’ some. What it should not be is incredibly painful. What it should not do is make you wish all the ‘amazing nature’ wasn’t there just so these people weren’t all the way out there being unbearably smug and excitable.
Finding a new species should be great, but when all you get is: “Look at this bat, it folds it’s wings twice!” delivered by some painfully dull, wholesome and smug science type it is actually impossible* to care.
If it everything out there wasn’t sooooooo amazing we wouldn’t have to contend with Marc’s super smug face regailing it’s effing amazingness for the four hundredth time this program. Or captain Insect pointing out how amazing a beetle is because it squeaks and how this is a reason to save everything. Oh wow. WHO CARES.
The fact is not that we shouldn’t save the planet. By overemphasising everything these science types are crying wolf a bit too much and taking subtracting the import from stuff that is actually amazing*. Demonstrated by the fact that every single creature they come across is ‘probably’ a new species. When did science become so bloody wishy washy?
ANYWAY.
TLotLV has only served to highlight the plight of Natural History programming on television: The imminent lack of Attenborough.
A problem more severe than climate change itself - some seeing it as a precursor the the apocalypse - this should be a real and pressing concern for anyone involved in or around the BBC.
Effectively, from whenever DA stops broadcasting, all of nature will become boring. To the point where we don’t care about saving it (and therefore climate change. Or, if TLotLV is a sign of things to come, we will slide into nuclear apocalypse: lost volcanoes will be nuked to prevent any sort of science/TV based crossover smugness.
I don’t see how this is in anyway avoidable, short of some kind of science fiction cryogenic freezing until the technology exists to make DA immortal (and there are moral ambiguities about immortalising a Knight of the Realm and forcing them into a life of narratorial servitude). That or some kind of frankenstein Attenbot will be needed, though this could adversely affect his delivery.
In short, we should probably all prepare ourselves for nuclear zombie based apocalypse. It will be lifeless, it will be hard - most people will die - but at least it will be interesting.
*Look it up to reinforce the gravitas of this statement.
Read this and cry a little inside!
Above: David Cameron eyes up his dinner for charity.
Conservative leader David Cameron brandishes his dinner in full flavoured support for the minority group Dogs Are Food Too.
Taking the opportunity at a blue cross conference to come out in full support of DAFT, Cameron angered some backbenchers who are ‘whole heartedly against the eating of pets as food’, according to a statment released by the Tories. However when we enquired as to which memebers of the party were against the eating of dogs or other hosehold pets, no party members we contacted were willing to comment.
This is yet another DAFT tory display, coming hot on the heels of Consevative support for the animal rights groups seeking to give equal opportunities to all species on all menu’s. Previous examples saw Conservative MP for Brentford, Mary Macleod eating the legs of a Bush Baby in a sweet and sour source.
David Cameron is reported to have eaten the puppy, named Josie, as part of Pie he cooked for his mother’s birthday. Leftovers were given to his mothers cat, also named Josie, which Cameron is apparantly fattening up.
